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When Attraction Fades During Pregnancy

Many women share their experiences of feeling unloved and unattractive during pregnancy

Category: Lifestyle

It’s a situation many expectant mothers dread: your partner suddenly expresses a lack of attraction to you during pregnancy. This concern was voiced in a recent discussion on r/Mommit, where one woman shared her feelings of rejection and confusion after her husband claimed he was no longer attracted to her. The post resonated with many, receiving over 1,000 upvotes and hundreds of comments from users sharing their own experiences and advice.

The original poster expressed deep hurt and confusion over her husband’s sudden change in behavior, which many commenters deemed unacceptable. One user, u/greydog1316, pointed out, "I don't think your husband's behaviour is normal. It sounds like it's very sudden and unexpected for you." This sentiment echoed throughout the thread, as many felt that a lack of attraction during such a vulnerable time could indicate underlying issues.

What’s Going On?

It's not uncommon for partners to experience shifts in attraction during pregnancy. As one commenter, u/auriferously, noted, "My husband was very sweet and complimentary during my pregnancy, but the idea that a baby was present at all times was a turn-off for him sexually." This highlights a common struggle: the physical changes that accompany pregnancy can affect intimacy and attraction in complex ways. Yet, many feel that these changes should not justify a partner's withdrawal of affection.

Another user, u/curiouscroww, emphasized the emotional impact of such behavior: "The way he's making you feel is wrong. Period." It's important for partners to communicate openly about their feelings and support each other, especially during a time filled with anxiety and change.

How to Respond

If you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s important to address these feelings directly. Communication is key. Talking openly with your partner about your feelings of rejection and your needs can help bridge the gap. As u/BasisOk2948 pointed out, "What hurts here isn’t just the lack of sex, it’s the lack of affection, reassurance, and kindness after you’ve clearly communicated how rejected you feel."

Seeking marriage counseling can also be beneficial. User u/softheart_strongwill suggested, "Please considering marriage counseling. Sometimes a third-party observer needs to step in and let your partner know that they’re being unreasonable." A therapist can provide a safe space for both partners to express their feelings and work on their relationship.

What You Deserve

Every pregnant woman deserves love, affection, and respect. As u/No-Requirement-2420 affirmed, "You are a beautiful glowing woman. You deserve love and affection." It’s important to remind yourself of your worth, especially when faced with negativity. Your body is doing something incredible, and you should feel celebrated, not criticized.

Many commenters expressed that physical attraction can fluctuate, but kindness and support should remain constant. User u/Aggressive_Day_6574 stated, "He doesn’t owe you his attraction... But he does owe you a partnership, and that involves intimacy and kindness." This sentiment reflects the essence of a healthy relationship—supporting each other through life’s changes.

When to Seek Help

There are red flags to watch for if you feel your partner's behavior is crossing into emotional neglect or abuse. If your partner's lack of attraction leads to consistent emotional withdrawal or disrespect, it may be time to seek professional help. As one user warned, "This is something that is like unforgivable. He is telling you you're only worthy of love and affection when you are physically attractive to him." Such attitudes can signal a need for serious intervention.

It’s also worth considering that some behaviors might hint at larger issues, including infidelity. User u/BonnieButler1939 raised this possibility, stating, "This is giving me affair vibes. If true, he is making his attraction to someone else seem like he is not interested in you because you are gross." If you suspect this might be the case, it’s important to address it directly with your partner.

The Bottom Line

Feeling unloved or unattractive during pregnancy can be an incredibly painful experience. As you navigate these feelings, prioritize open communication with your partner, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help if necessary. You deserve to feel valued and cherished during this special time in your life. Pregnancy is challenging enough without feeling unsupported by the person who is supposed to be your biggest ally. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can remind you of your worth and help you through this phase.

This article is grounded in a discussion trending on Reddit. Claims from the original post and comments may not reflect independently verified reporting.